The Truth About Why Employees Leave

(And How to Rethink Retention)

You don’t lose great people overnight. You lose them in meetings where they’re never asked what they think. They begin to step away when leaders tell them what to do instead of inviting them to contribute. The disengage in cultures where growth is talked about — but never personally felt. And by the time they hand in their notice, they’ve been gone for months. Here are some thoughts on why employees leave and what you can do about retaining talent.

A Personal Story

I know, because I’ve been that person. I left jobs where I felt crowded, unseen, or micromanaged. Leaders promised collaboration but imposed rigid control instead. I love to contribute, to bring strategy and contribution to the table — but when I was managed through structures and silos, when my voice was ignored, or my work quietly lifted by others, I disengaged. And eventually, I left.

I now coach leaders on how to spot the early signs of disengagement, speak the language of motivation, and retain the brilliant people they worked so hard to hire.

Why Employees Leave — Even in “Great” Companies

It’s rarely about pay. It’s always about meaning.

Disengagement creeps in when people feel overlooked, misunderstood, or mismatched with their environment. Managers often assign tasks without providing context or support. They may report to managers who never take the time to understand how they work best. Some managers talk at people instead of coaching them. Others end up stuck in roles that limit their ability to grow or contribute. And when the company culture doesn’t reflect their values, even the best pay won’t keep them.

And when no one asks what really matters to them, the emotional exit begins.

Motivation Isn’t a Mystery — It’s a Map for Retaining Talent

One of the most powerful tools I use with coaching clients is based on Tony Robbins’ 6 Human Needs — a framework that uncovers what truly drives us:

Certainty – safety, stability, routine
Variety – change, challenge, stimulation
Significance – being recognised, heard, valued
Connection – trust, rapport, care
Growth – development, mastery, stretch
Contribution – impact, meaning, purpose

Top performers lose motivation when leaders ignore or overlook their core needs — especially growth and contribution.

When they can’t develop or make a difference, motivation flatlines. A job that pays well still feels hollow when it lacks meaning and growth.

“Rich meaning at work creates rich engagement.”

What Do High Performers Really Want?

Managers are often taught to delegate and direct — not to coach and connect. But high performers want more than tasks. They’re driven by growth, trust, ownership, and meaningful contribution. Feeling challenged and seen — not just handed tasks — keeps them fully engaged. But here’s the truth:

People don’t need to be managed. They need to be understood.

Coaching helps you retain your best people by:

Discover what motivates each individual (not just what motivates you)
Speak to their core drivers using frameworks like the 6 Human Needs
Build trust through powerful questions and feedback loops
Create opportunities for ownership and stretch — not just tasks

And most importantly?

Coaching turns work into a partnership, not a power structure.

The Warning Signs You’re About to Lose Someone

Look for:

Subtle withdrawal (fewer ideas, less initiative)
Always agreeable (they’ve stopped caring enough to push back)
Surface-level engagement (no deeper curiosity or challenge)
Increasing frustration or vague “disconnect”

These signs of employee disengagement give leaders the chance to coach, not to reprimand.

Trailblazer Move: Learn to Coach Your Team — Before They Quit

If you want to:

Retain top performers
Reduce quiet quitting and passive exits
Lead with confidence and trust

…start by learning how to coach, not just manage.

Take a quick coaching program and learn the secrets to reading your team, understanding their motivations, and communicating in a way that lands.

Or explore leadership coaching to become the kind of leader that great talent grows under — not escapes from.

You can also book a free discovery call to explore how this works in real teams.

Because the best talent doesn’t just want more money.
They want meaning, movement, and someone who actually listens. Asking why employees are leaving is the first step to retaining talent that you value. Stop and coach yourself or connect with an executive coach, based in Dublin, but coaching globally!.

Become the leader in talent retention — and lead the way in building teams that stay, grow, and perform.

Meet the executive coach behind this article, based in Dublin, coaching globally.